Tag: Aaron Dingle

andyouknowitis:

Watching that moment when they walk in the door of The Mill, and how softly and gently Aaron sets down the baby carrier, all the while chatting away and reassuring Seb that he’s not far away (an important part of developing object permanence at this age is letting the child know you are still there even when they can’t see you) says so, so much to me. Likewise the kiss to Seb’s little head when he has him back in his arms safe from Syd daring to touch him, Aaron holding him close, fixing his clothes, settling him after the scare, fear still running through him, but trying to soothe Seb nevertheless.

The first; talking to Seb while he unpacks and answers the phone call, is a conscious choice, to engage with Seb and reassure him he’s not far away. Seb knows Aaron’s voice. He knows Aaron looks after him. The second; the head kiss, an unconscious reaction, born of the moment, that nonetheless reassures Seb that he’s back in Aaron’s arms, (not that stranger’s), and equally so affirms to Aaron himself that Seb is safe, that he’s okay. That Aaron has him. Much like the moment after Aaron saves Seb from the almost fire at Victoria and Rebecca’s, it’s Aaron showing Seb, yet again, that he has got him (I’ve got you), that he’s safe with Aaron, and that he’ll do anything to protect him. Because he loves him. Aaron loves Seb.

The part where Aaron sits on the stairs after Syd has gone, after he’s settled Seb to sleep, while he’s waiting for Robert to come home, a clear physical barrier to any threat that might harm Seb in the meantime, all while listening out for him on the baby monitor, which is gripped in Aaron’s hand, to reassure himself that Seb is fine, that he’s absolutely as safe as Aaron can make him in that moment? That to me, is a parent.

Watching his face in that scene, as he held on to that baby monitor, I was reminded of Aaron’s words during the reunion, reassuring Robert that he wouldn’t (couldn’t) ever resent Seb, even after everything that had happened, even after all he once said he felt about the baby, and the pain he had to work through to reach that point of being able to move forward.

Do you think I would?

That’s what he said.

Give me a chance and I’ll show you.

Aaron’s every action towards Seb since then has only affirmed what he himself said he already knew. That Robert would never have to force Seb on Aaron. And nor has he. Aaron wants to be part of Seb’s life. To be there for him. Sure, they’ve had the standard new parents teething problems as it were (who actually does the most nappy changes, or takes the most feeds, or gets up more at night, or ensures that they’re warm enough?). More and more we’ve seen Aaron volunteer for these different aspects (he’s gone from not wanting to do a nappy change to actively helping Robert with them when they get a bad one, he also clearly knows Seb’s feeding habits as per his conversation with Rebecca about Seb still being hungry, we’ve been given all the indicators that he gives him feeds, that he looks after him alone, can handle the pram/buggy just fine, can make bottles, has gotten used to Seb’s things and the ever present baby laundry taking up space at the flat, that he takes Seb with him in the car, hence the baby carrier), to the point where now, particularly since they’ve taken on Seb’s full time care (something that was also Aaron’s idea), it’s evident that he and Robert are fully sharing responsibility of Seb’s day to day needs.

The reality is, practically every parent goes back and forth on these things, and some will always be better at some of them than the other(s) is/are. One is always going to be better at dealing with things like illness, or those dirty nappies, or getting them to stop crying, while another will fare far more easily with that Maths homework, or packing their kid’s lunch and schoolbag, or making a chicken dinner. That’s life. Parents aren’t perfect. They’re just people. All of them on a learning curve. Mostly trying to do the best they can. What makes them are their actions. And the things they do with love.

Yes, perhaps Aaron’s relationship with Seb going forward from the reunion point began with him seeing him as part of Robert and as Robert’s little boy. But now? I think Aaron’s already beyond that. His actions bear that out. Yes, maybe there are still wider discussions to be had as to the dynamics of their family going forward; things like what names they’ll use, and legalities to protect them all in different circumstances, and checking in with how Aaron feels overall as their bond develops, all valid things. But make no mistake, that bond is already there. For Seb (who stops crying when he’s back cradled against Aaron, who knows his voice, and reacts to his smiles and the faces he makes, who is clearly at ease settled on his knee and in his arms), and for Aaron.

For Aaron, because he made the decision to be a parent that night in that garage as he sat on the ground and held Robert’s hand. He knew what it would entail and he asked Robert to let Aaron show him he was ready. Ready to be not just his partner and husband again, but a parent to Seb too. Robert loves Aaron and Robert loves Seb. Aaron loves Robert and Aaron loves Seb. They both love Liv. They love each other and they love Seb and Liv. In time I’m sure we’ll see a deeper bond develop between Liv and Seb too. None of these things are mutually exclusive. All this love can exist. And from all I’ve seen them say and do, it does.

For Aaron and Seb, that bond started there on that garage floor, when Aaron opened up his heart and his life to him, and bit by bit ever since we’ve seen it grow. In everything he does for Seb and in every way he is with him.

Maybe for some that isn’t what a parental bond is. I don’t know. But to me Aaron is a parent because he chose to be. And because he loves the child he chose to be a parent to. He loves him.

He loves Seb. And that to me is everything.